Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from September, 2016

My stress level this week: Over 9,000

It's been quite a crazy week! It all started Sunday when my little sister woke up struggling to breathe at about 3 in the morning. We already knew she had a cold, but we weren't expecting it to get that bad. At one point, her lips started turning blue so we immediately knew that she needed to go to the hospital. I had to be the one to sit in the backseat on the way there while my mom drove. Of course, I really didn't want to be the one to go to the hospital considering hospitals= sick people = a lot of vomit = an emetophobe's worst nightmare. However, I was way more worried about my little sister. It was so horrible to see her like that. I remember praying and holding her hand the entire ride there. It was definitely one of the scariest moments of my life.  Thankfully, there was no one in the waiting room so we got to go in the back immediately after arriving. She had a breathing treatment done so she seemed to be doing much better and we were actually getting r

Why I kept living even though I didn't want to...

Okay...I'm just going to go ahead and warn you that this is going to be a very emotional post so beware! I'm posting this in honor of Suicide Prevention Week and I'm hoping to spread awareness on this issue. I have a feeling that people might not look at me the same after they read all of this, but this is a part of my life story and I want to give others hope. I saw something on Facebook and I decided to share it then suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered all of those times I thought about or even attempted suicide and I started to think about all of the reasons why I wanted to keep living. The number 1 reason why I kept living was just thinking about the aftermath. I didn't want my mom or older sister to come into my room and find my lifeless body. I didn't want my little sister or nephew to ask where their "May-May" was. I didn't want my friends and family to wonder what else they could have possibly done to prevent this from hap

God is AMAZING!!!!!

I've been going to church more often and I feel like I've a dramatic change in my life. My attitude is better and my anxiety and depression seem to have gotten a lot better also! I've been praying more and I've had a more positive outlook on life lately. I should, also, point out that I went to church completely by myself this past Wednesday! My cousins usually come with me, but they couldn't make it unfortunately. Of course, I could have changed my mind, but I was determined to show my anxiety who's boss! I'll admit that I was terrified at first, but then class started and I felt like a part of the group! :) Oh, and I would also like to mention that I ate! You see, having both anxiety and emetophobia is a really horrible combination because when I get nervous, I start to feel sick. Plus, I don't like eating in front of other people...It just makes me uncomfortable. So, you have no idea how awesome I felt afterwards. I knew if I could do it one time on