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Why I kept living even though I didn't want to...

Okay...I'm just going to go ahead and warn you that this is going to be a very emotional post so beware! I'm posting this in honor of Suicide Prevention Week and I'm hoping to spread awareness on this issue. I have a feeling that people might not look at me the same after they read all of this, but this is a part of my life story and I want to give others hope.

I saw something on Facebook and I decided to share it then suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered all of those times I thought about or even attempted suicide and I started to think about all of the reasons why I wanted to keep living.

The number 1 reason why I kept living was just thinking about the aftermath. I didn't want my mom or older sister to come into my room and find my lifeless body. I didn't want my little sister or nephew to ask where their "May-May" was. I didn't want my friends and family to wonder what else they could have possibly done to prevent this from happening. More and more reasons continued to flood through my mind until I would finally realize that suicide just wasn't the way that I wanted to go. Even though, the anxiety and depression would be so overwhelming, I knew I couldn't just give up. I had to remind myself that God put me on this Earth for a reason. I had to keep my faith even during my darkest moments.

If you're struggling with depression, anxiety, and/or suicidal thoughts, I just want to let you know that you're not alone. You are so strong and you will get through this. I know your brain will lie to you and try to tell you that you're ugly or fat or that you're just not good enough, but please don't listen to it. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are and life will get better!







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